Take that

Sitting alone allowing the silence to envelop me.
I can't let anyone see me sitting here so silently.
The fear od being found out is so intensely frightening.
The truth of being me isnt always easy.
I can't always be honest not even with myself.
Because when I do what I see is scary and
hardly the person I want to be
Light is replaced with darkness
so black so complete
nothing can be seen beyond it
emotion is no longer felt
and pain can't be expressed

Brick by Boring Brick

Anger courses through me like a runaway train,
I cant identify the source of my furiousity,
but whatever it is impairing my ability to see
or feel anything clearly
i just want to scream but
when i open my mouth nothing comes out
and no one can hear me
music blasts in my ears
no one can tell from my blank stare
that I am in a completely different place
somewhere i can't be touched
awakening from my musical fantasy
is the worst possible agony
my one moment of sanity
stripped away and now back to my insanity
the truth is living is worse than dying
in death you feel no more pain
no longer are you controlled by your brain
I feel that my mentality is challenged by my insanity
but i dont feel like i can be free