Monday, September 14, 2009
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream but everytime I open my mouth, no sound comes out. I feel my heart about to burst and it seems like no one else can see it except me. I don't know why things can't be the way I want them to be. All she had to do was love me and be with me. Is that so hard? Apparently so, I try to put myself in her shoes, but I can't because I do not understand why anyone would want to be in that type of relationship. Why does she even need me, if she is so happy? I don't believe that if things were better that our relationship would of ever happened. Liessssssss, I hate lies. I just would much rather hear the truth even if it breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces.
I just want this to stop hurting me and I keep digging myself deeper and deeper. I am so alone and I shouldn't feel alone. I shouldn't be crying so often. i should be more happy. I am happy until I think about it. I wish I didnt need her to be there. I wish I didnt need her at all. Needing someone is one of the worse possible things that could happen to you. Its like being an addict, you can't get enough and its a burning feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your need gets so intense that it starts to cause you physical discomfort. You can't do anything to subside the pain. Your weak and helpless. How can someone have so complete and utter control over another? I just want it to end but I can't let go......I just can't.
Posted by Samantha Monroe at 12:41 PM